How to control your mind

 There’s only so much you can do to create change yourself, but giving up entirely isn’t the answer either.”

Acceptance can even offer clues as to why specific thoughts keep coming up.

Maybe you keep thinking about a fling who ghosted you. If you’re currently experiencing some life challenges, you might find it even harder to maintain control over spiraling thoughts or your overall mindset.

Occasional intrusive thoughts are pretty normal, too. Accepting those persistent thoughts leads you to recognize that you really wanted your connection to last.

Their disappearing act left you with unresolved questions and an overwhelming sense of unworthiness. It might take some effort to learn the trick of regaining control, but the 10 strategies below can help.

Identify the thoughts you want to change

It goes without saying that you have to figure out what’s on your mind before you can begin to control it.

Nearly everyone experiences discouraging thoughts or emotional setbacks from time to time. You’re not alone in wanting to make them go away. You worry you’ve failed at dating and feel anxious about trying again.

Acknowledging these fears allows you to confront them and remind yourself that you’re not to blame for their bad manners.

Keeping the situation in perspective can help you manage your worries about it happening again instead of letting fear hold you back from finding someone new. You’re not alone in wanting to make them go away. It’s normal to have trouble convincing yourself to look up when feeling downcast in the face of stress and other challenges.

While actual mind control belongs in the realm of science fiction, you can work to change your mindset. They can be distressing, but they often pass as quickly as they intruded, especially when you don’t engage with them.

Other troubling thought patterns might include:

rumination, or looping thoughts

negative self-talk:

cognitive biases, or errors in thinking that can affect your choices or interactions

a fixed pessimistic outlook

Identifying specific thoughts and patterns can help you make the most out of the other tips that follow.

Accept unwanted thoughts:

It’s human nature to flinch away from pain, so of course you’d prefer to avoid thoughts that cause distress.

Yet pushing away unwanted thoughts isn’t the way to gain control. So, you want to control your mind.

Maybe you want to stop thinking about a recent breakup, or feel discouraged from a year of physical distancing and want to embrace a more hopeful perspective.

Unwanted thoughts can cause plenty of frustration and distress. It’s normal to have trouble convincing yourself to look up when feeling downcast in the face of stress and other challenges.

While actual mind control belongs in the realm of science fiction, you can work to change your mindset. That usually just makes them more intense.

Instead, try the opposite: Accept those thoughts, and let them in.

Say you feel a little low because nothing in your life seems to be happening the way you planned despite all your hard work.

Acceptance might involve telling yourself, “Nothing seems to be going right, and that’s discouraging. It might take some effort to learn the trick of regaining control, but the 10 strategies below can help.

10 Tips to Take Charge of Your Mindset and Control Your Thoughts

Maybe you want to stop thinking about a recent breakup, or feel discouraged from a year of physical distancing and want to embrace a more hopeful perspective.

Unwanted thoughts can cause plenty of frustration and distress.

I know you have the strength to face this new problem, too.”

It might feel a little awkward, but this cognitive reappraisal strategy offersTrusted Source a couple important benefits.

First, repositioning yourself as an outside observer helps create space from intense thoughts and emotions. You’re stepping back from a mindset that’s only fueling distress.

Looking at a situation from this newly distanced point of view often makes it easier to see the full picture, not just the most immediate effects.

Second, consciously choosing to examine situations from the third-person perspective helps you interrupt circling thoughts and explore your feelings productivelyTrusted Source.

As you cast your mind back to the specific experience affecting you, replace questions like “Why do I feel this way?” and “What caused this to affect me so deeply?” with third-person questions: “Why does [your name] feel this way?” or “What about this situation triggered those feelings?”

Changing your perspective helps trick your mind into considering yourself as another person, giving you distance from your own hardships.

This also has benefit when it comes to cheering yourself on, since people also tend to accept outside support more readily than encouragement from within.

Focus on positives:

Positive reframing is another reappraisal strategy that can help you regain control over your mindset. For example:

Instead of: “I feel miserable, but I’ve been through worse, so I can deal with this, too.”

Try: “I know you feel miserable right now, but you’ve worked hard to cope with other challenges. Change your perspective

Self-talk can go a long way toward helping you change your mindset, but the way you talk to yourself matters.

When addressing yourself in the first person doesn’t seem to have much impact, try switching to a third-person perspective.